Reasons why I thought I needed wine.. (x3)

After the random events of yesterday, today has brought a bit more normality ( I use that term loosely) and has therefore been an interesting reminder of why I felt a bottle of wine was required in my life on most evenings.

It’s one of my non-working days, so I’ve been flying solo with the three smalls all day. Well, the biggest small was at school for just over 6 hours, but in a 17 hour day, that’s a mere blip in my book.

We had a productive morning; the twins and I took down the Xmas decorations. Or at least, I did, whilst they rolled around in tinsel, emptied baubles out of boxes faster than I could pack them, and tried to dismantle electrical equipment whilst still plugged in. All in all, pretty relaxing.

It was teatime  (theirs) where it hit me just why I usually needed the wine so much. An exerpt of the conversation below may serve to illustrate:

“No I want to sit there, NO I WANNA SIT THERE” (cue screams, crying).

“Stop pushing your brother. Sit up at the table. No, don’t stab her with the fork, that’s not nice”

“Muuummmyy Muuummmyy muuummmy” (repeat ad infinitum)

“BUT I DON’T LIKE THIS TEA MUMMY” (screamed at full volume)

“Mummy – I need a pooh. Mummy, I’ve done a pooh!”

“Muuummmyy there’s yoghurt in my ear!!”

“Please don’t throw butterbeans across the room young man!! Will you ALL get back up at the table!! Now, please!!! Hello, can anyone hear me? Have I ceased to exist???”

Imagine about 45 minutes of this, with three children alternately shouting, refusing to eat, giggling hysterically, messing about, etc etc. All at full volume. You can only imagine the scenes of carnage later when I try to bath them, and get them ready for bed…

If you throw into the mix me trying to cook/wash/clean/shop & do 99% of all household paperwork and chores for 5 people, whilst holding down a part-time job, and getting the 3 children to school/nursery on time along with the associated gubbins they each require, and then getting myself to work and having half a brain left to try and be awesome at my job, you get the gist of my life.. My children are beautiful, often hilarious little creatures, and I love them dearly, but they completely exhaust me. My happy place is somewhere quiet, and dimly lit, where things are beautiful, and orderly, and I can read in peace for hours. If you’ve seen/read The Hobbit, I mean something a bit like Bilbo Baggins’s hobbit-hole, before the dwarves arrive. My reality is rather more like the scenes shortly after the dwarves have arrived…

Now I’m not for a minute suggesting I’m alone in this, or that this is a difficult life compared to what others face. No, in fact I think this is the life that many, many other women like me live every day. Which is why, after everything is finally done (or not) and we collapse, overloaded and shattered,  that so many of us crave a fast-track to a numbing, relaxing oblivion, via wine.

And then we wake up one day to find that we’re addicted. Whoops. And then suddenly we’re facing another challenge to add to the list.

I’m very pleased to report that for once, I’m not craving wine today. But lord, I can certainly see why I usually do.

Right folks, my rant here is done. I bid you a fair evening; I’m off to drink peppermint tea and draw up some reward charts. For the kids, not me. My reward is their smiles. (She types, with gritted teeth…)

Red xx

Postscript: 11.45pm. It’s struck me that I’ve soon forgotten Sober Mummy’s post re Gratitude yesterday, and that really struck a chord. So I’m now lying in bed feeling very, very grateful for my little dudes/dudette and lots of other lovely things, but also a teeny bit pooped 😉 Red xx

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22 thoughts on “Reasons why I thought I needed wine.. (x3)”

  1. Yes I can see why you love your little darlings ( thinking Phew thank god I only had one and she is nearly ready to leave home) what a great insight into you day and very normalising for countless others that do this day in day out wondering are they the only ones feeling stressed by it all. You sound like Day 5 has gone brilliantly, keep rolling on Red, they do grow up so quickly and you will (believe me) look back at these times with a soft heart. Well done you.

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  2. Haha – yes Ginger, perversely I’m already feeling the fact it goes too fast – it’s such a conundrum really, they make me want to scream, but simultaneously wonder at how lovely & awesome they are. It’s really not them; I just wasn’t cut out to be an earth-mother. More a librarian. It’s struck me that I’ve soon forgotten Sober Mummy’s post re Gratitude yesterday. So I’m lying in bed feeling very grateful for them and lots of other lovely things, but also a teeny bit pooped 😉 Red x

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  3. Hi Red – oh my goodness this post is brilliant. Rings so true for me. In fact I love your whole blog and just had to start commenting. I do think I need to commit and comment more to make this thing work. So I am at a similar stage ( I had about 43 days under my belt and Blinkin succumbed at new year) i would love to keep in touch via your blog to try to motivate each other. I am totally addicted to SMs blog. Can’t wait till I’m at her stage. She has helped me so much over the past few months. In fact feel I ought to fess up re new year on her blog too!!! Accountability eh – I really will start commenting more! Let’s do this – I think 2016 is our year. Love SFM

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    1. Hi SFM! ! Great to hear from you, I love it when people comment, makes me feel supported and love being in touch with others out there who are doing this “thing” too!
      Damn that New Year, it’s a tricky one. I’m impressed with your 43 days tho. SM is awesome, isn’t she? She’s been instrumental in getting me to where I am now.
      Would love to keep in touch, let’s do this thing!!
      Red x

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      1. Hi Red. Great to hear from you too. I really think we can help each other here. Hope you’ve had a good day. I’m only just feeling physically right after my stupid few days of drinking over the new year period. It doesn’t usually take that long. Good thing is it’s made me think of SM’s obstacle course and how I never want another day 1. Feel so happy because we went to dinner at friends the other night and I managed to stay strong and insist I didn’t want wine – of course despite 4-5 offers – are you sure? – just a small one. I played it forward in my head – I cant have 1 small wine without wanting to finish at least a bottle. I’d taken my own AF beers to drink and I had a fantastically good evening – no hangover the next morning. Feeling positive and strong for 2016! Yay yay! SFM x

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      2. I love that you made it through your dinner despite pressure from friends – I totally failed at that on NYE. Playing it forward is such a useful tactic. So glad you’re feeling positive – me too!! Red xx

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    1. Ahh SM – thankyou for saying it gets easier, not many people actually say that, they just say the “problems/issues” change. It’s just so physically and mentally full on at the mo, and they seem to need constant input with little downtime! But I love ’em. I’m having so much more fun with them now I’m sober.
      Red x

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  4. I agree with Sober Mummy, it gets easier. My three are older now, and when I am stressed, they ask me what’s wrong and try to help. Not always, but often. Day 7 for me here, and I hope for you too? Annie x

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