Record-breaking

When I wake up tomorrow, I will have broken a new personal record. The only other time since the tender age of 17 where I’ve gone without alcohol for a sustained period was for 27 days, last July. (Note: apart from my two pregnancies which don’t count. It’s freakishly easy to give up booze when someone elses life depends on it, rather than just your own).

I hadn’t actually set out to stop drinking completely that time; it was more of an experiment. I’d woken up on a Sunday morning, after a trip to the Magic Rock brewery tap the previous afternoon with a group of friends. It was a glorious thing; our favorite brewery where you could literally sample the entire range of their craft beers all in one place. And sample, we did. It started out lots of fun, but ended in the usual melange of rambling incoherent conversations, friends demonstrating martial arts techniques on other friends and nearly killing them, you know, the usual shizzle. Mr Red and I ducked out fairly early (for us) and came home to drink wine and pass out in front of some film or other. I distinctly remember getting quite snippy about Rachel Weisz’s performance in said film, due to Mr Red being rather partial to her, and me being a green eyed monster when pissed. (I do cultivate a healthy liking for Mr Daniel Craig, purely as a form of retaliation, obviously).

Needless to say, the next day was grim. I felt as if my heart was trying to vacate my body. My tongue was three times its usual size, and I was rather worryingly aware of the precise location of my liver, due to all the throbbing, and the ick feeling.

I found it fairly easy to make it though the next 27 days, and then spectacularly slipped straight back into my bad habits on 28th as I’d built up that false sense of security that “I was fine, yeah, I don’t have a problem, cos look how easy that was!”. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Fast forward through a blurry 5 months later. This time hasn’t been as easy. But I think that’s because it feels more permanent, and I’m still stupidly going through an idiotic grieving process, just like you would after breaking up with some numpty boyfriend who’d treated you like dirt. So in theory, I should have a moment of revelation soon, where I realise that “Mr Drink” was an utter dickhead, and I suddenly feel an overwhelming relief to be out of such a crappy relationship, whilst simultaneously being tempted to track said ex-person down and lamp them one round the head.

The revelatory moment hasn’t happened yet, but today has definitely been better. I’ve had what I think is a tension headache on a daily basis for over a week; happily this was much less severe today. I’ve also cut down on caffeine this week, and in an uncharacteristic fit of self-care, I’ve booked in to the chiropractor tomorrow, to try and address my chronic back problem and the headaches too. It’s amazing me how much of my drinking must have been self medication really. And how I couldn’t afford the chiropractor, but I could afford about 10 bottles of wine per week..

I managed today’s stresses and strains with a bit more spirit, handled the post-school and bedtime chaos single handed without losing my temper, despite claims from my youngest son that he couldn’t finish his tea because it would “give him a headache”. I’m now sat relaxing with a chai latte, and a plate of fruit. (Yes, fear not for your sanity, you read that correctly). Reese and his pieces will undoubtedly be jealous, but hey, too much of a good thing, and Red will begin to resemble Jabba the Hutt. And I say bollocks to that – I’m aiming for Leia in the gold bikini now.

Here’s to uncharted territory tomorrow on day 29, and on to Monday for my first month sober. And to all of you out there breaking (or attempting to break) your own personal records.. you’re all awesome.

Red xx

 

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22 thoughts on “Record-breaking”

  1. Love this.
    Good for you for booking the chiropractor. Self care.

    I’m sure I didn’t have 27 sober days either, except for pregnancies. How did I end us at 2 years??!!?? Bizarre.

    Mourn. I think it’s a really important step. I think we mourn the familiar, even though we know it’s hurting us. The fear of what’s to come feeds it.

    I swear one day you will laugh at that. But you will also be able to understand others who struggle and can’t seem to quit.

    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Lovely weekend Ted, hubbs is away so I’ve been pottering around the house redecorating, buying fresh flowers and pottering around, very relaxing! Hope you’re having/had a good one too x

        Liked by 1 person

    1. TWTIK, don’t give up, its just a blip. Try another tack. Its definitely worth the effort, even on a tough Friday night. Get back on the blog if you can as I miss your words.

      Red, more great words and how was the chiropractor?

      Justonemore

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy new record Red- so pleased and proud. So glad January is nearly over. I do think it’s getting a bit easier (I dread ever going back to day 1), but few temptations this weekend and next, that have made me feel a bit wobbly. I guess it’s good to get a little reminder every now and then of just how hard this can be as it keeps us from being complacent and having a little whoops. I had a romantic notion of just 1 wine – to be sociable – and luckily very quickly played it forward in my mind. All sorted!! (this time!) Anyhow – in about 2 weeks I will have also reached I all time (non pregnant) sober record. Will be a great milestone to get to. So enjoy yours – dear friend. Happy sober weekend. Love SFM xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Happy sober weekend back to you, my friend! So glad to hear you played your potential “whoops” moment forward. What a life saver that technique has been. Exciting that you’re approaching a personal record too. It spurs us ever forward I think! I dreamed I’d drunk a load of red wine last night, and again I felt gutted and disgusted with myself. We’ve got to take strength from these moments. Red xx

      Like

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