Yep, I’m soaking in the bath. This is a rare occurrance; if I try this after the kids bedtime I’d wake them up just running the bath. (Our house is weird – big downstairs and tiny upstairs). If I try it during the day at the weekend, I inevitably end up with a small “bathbuddy” or two. And their associated toys, cars, squirters. Or a procession of small people requiring the toilet, or just asking questions of a philosophical nature such as “So where IS Grandpa, Mummy?? Is it Mexico??” (My dear Dad would have found this amusing I’m sure) . Not terribly relaxing, anyway. ‘Specially with a metal Hot Wheels car stuck to your bum.

I digress – I’m writing this because I still feel like crap physically today, but mentally I’m feeling better. Stepping off the merry-go-round will often have this effect; I spiral down and down into stress, introspection and “poor me, I can’t cope with this, it’s all someone else’s fault!!!”, and then something cracks and I break through and start climbing again. I found this cycle got less severe last time I stopped drinking for a period longer than 3 days. It didn’t completely disappear, but then I discovered afterwards that I was low on iron, which will have been contributing to me not feeling tip-top despite being sober. I’m going to try it again (with improved iron reserves!).

Last night I busted the myth that you can’t have fun sober, by watching three episodes of Stuart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle. And absolutely crying with laughter. Why do I always envisage a sober life as something grey and dull with no highs?

I’m marinating in the tub now, listening to The Lord of The Rings soundtrack. An odd choice, but this was my favourite bath music when I was pregnant with my first boy, and I remember loving the combination. I was obviously AF, so I thought I’d try it today. It’s great, but I need to put down the phone now and start actually relaxing. Properly.

Later, lovely people.

Red xx

Ps – moving onto the We Bought A Zoo soundtrack now (Jonsi). Uplifting. And am putting down the phone!!



13 thoughts on “Bathtime!”

  1. I am assuming you are sitting in a bath without barf ?? Ha ha, sorry had to be said. I hope you continue to improve both mentally and physically. It sounds like you have gained a little perspective given the time and space your 4.5 hours have given you. I loved Jackie ‘Wine Bitch’ comment about men and how they work- love it! Try and get a little self care over the weekend even if it means locking yourself in the toilet for 5 mins.
    I share a similar trait to you in that I am strong, powerful, running my home, working at a job, keeping the home fires burning but…… now and again I need to get into bed with a book and collapse into myself. We are not designed to live like this! It’s no wonder we cave in periodically. Look after yourself Red.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaaaa – thanks Ginger, yes it was L’Occitane bubble bath this time, and definitely not in barf flavour πŸ™‚ Self-care – we need to learn to prioritise this, you and I. Happy long weekend to you. Red xx


  2. Good to hear you’re fitting in some self care! It is most definitely possible to have a good time sober, but takes a while to get your head around it and break down that link that booze = fun. Cheering you on xx

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Hi Red – so good to have you blogging again. Hilarious as ever. And so many things I can also relate to. Hubbys are interesting creatures aren’t they? So my hubby was equally aware of how I was drinking too much and how many bad effects it was having on him, the kids and us all as a family (subtly of course – on the surface everything still ticked along – often because I had him to cover for me and I had a series of high bottoms – never got to any rock bottoms thank God , but I also know it was only a matter of time, as for all of us on that road). Although Mr SFM likes a good blowout very occasioanlly (I try so hard not to be smug with his hangovers now!) he’s generally happy to have 2 or 3 drinks and leave it at that. Despite all of this I am quite sure that prior to me going AF he would have tried to persuade me not to – for that fact of it being a lonely place to not have someone sharing in a bottle of wine, and that feeling of ‘weirdness’ that your other half doesn’t drink (I agree with everything the sobersphere says about how entrenched our alcohol culture is that we have to feel this way. I had a brief relationship with a guy who didn’t drink and I thought to myself – ooh I don’t think I could ever marry a guy who didn’t drink and all those thoughts of – well what’s wrong with him – must have had an alcohol problem at some stage!) Anyway (ramble ramble), I decided – I’m going to give this AF thing a go and didn’t even discuss it with Mr SFM. He slowly just gathered that I was never having a drink anymore and as time has gone on and all those sober improvements keep on coming ( including that entire list you gave), I think he realises that life is so much better with me AF, that he’s more that happy to forgo the odd shared bottle of wine and have a ‘partner who doesn’t drink’. He’s so delighted to never need to have the discussion of whose turn is it to drive on our nights out as well. And I genuinely have fun on our nights out not drinking. I think once you get some sober weeks under your belt it becomes the new normal way of having fun. It’s like my funometer has been reset. Believe you me – prior to this I was so one of those people who just couldn’t imagine enjoying myself without drinking (well at an event that involved alcohol). In fact even events that didn’t involve alcohol I usually though they’d be improved if someone decided a glass (or bottle) of something was called for! So what I’m saying Red – is you can so do this. We’re all rooting for you. Anyway – what a ramble – you can see how much I’ve missed your blog! Keep on keeping on Red. If I can do this – so can you. Lots of love SFM x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey there SFM! Great to hear from you. And it’s really good to hear how it went with Mr SFM – maybe I’m over thinking it. I love the thought of my “funometer” being reset, sounds awesome πŸ˜‰ So glad you’re still doing so well. Red xx


  4. Yay Red, you’re back!! I am too. Had a hard time there for a bit. Are you caught up on game of thrones???


    1. Yay – hey there Commotiocordis, fab to hear from you. Glad you got through the tough time. It’s a rollercoaster eh? Not watching the new series of GOT – we don’t have the right channel, so we’re trying like mad to avoid spoilers and wait for the dvd. I’m not very good at watching 1 episode per week, I’ve never been a pleasure delayer and prefer to immerse myself ;-). Makes sense really when I think about it.. Red xx


      1. Oh god. MF roller coaster it is, right??? Okay, I’ll try not to spoil GoT for you! I don’t have TV, I just have Netflix and the HBO app so that keeps me covered. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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