May Madness – the plan

I’m feeling better. Hold the press; I’m feeling very alive, actually. I think this may be a combined “AF and getting rid of the ick” pink cloud, but it’s very nice and fluffy so far.

The trouble is, as my spirits and energy improve, and the weekend approaches, thd bad thoughts of drinking have crept back in. I’m gong to have to plan the shit out of this one to get through unscathed..

Righty-ho. The Plan So Far:

Friday night: after a day at work in “the biz”, I’ll be likely obsessing about wine by the time I leave. Plan is to purchase delicious food items for an evening meal, exercise like a woman possessed immediately upon returning home, and I’ve already signed Mr Red up to a high-octane film evening. I find these easier to not drink during, as it were.

Saturday afternoon/evening: friends are coming to stay, and the usual format is craft beer, food, music, and card games until the wee small hours arrive and we lose the power of articulation. They will arrive laden with interesting new beers to try. DANGER. So for starters, Mr Red has already brought me a couple of decent AF crafty beers home specifically for that night. Also, I’ve done one of these sort of nights with these friends AF before, so I know I can do it, and also that they’ll respect my choice. And I’ll bloody LOVE the lack of hangover on Sunday. Must remember Sunday Morning if tempted.

Sunday night/Monday night: Bugger. Nothing so far; more work definitely required on this part of the plan.

Right – any suggestions for the plan are most welcome. In baking news, it’s my son’s class cake-bake tomorrow, so I need to go and (ahem) tidy up the Tiffin I’ve made so that it’s in nice, neat, presentable squares. I fear it may require some quite severe trimming…

Red xx

Ps – a few weeks ago, a class cake-bake is the sort of event which would have seen me burying my head in the sand, then forgetting about until the last minute, and panic purchasing some crap shop-bought nonsense for. Interesting contrast.

The dangers of (AF) time

A quick post – it’s 10pm,  I’ve finally got into bed after a busy day, and the Redlets are all coughing as if they’re on a TB ward. I may be required to rush off and don my Florence Nightingale outfit any second. (Think Superman getting changed in a phone booth,  but less lycra, and a lot less sexy).

I’ve discovered that having energy, and AF time on my hands is a danger, as last night it led me to create this:

Anyone familiar with my blog will probably be aware of my predilection for the combination of peanut butter and chocolate. In particular a certain Reeses Peanut Butter Bar. Well, I only went and made a huge slab of the stuff myself. Christ knows how many calories there are in this puppy – I could probably work it out, but I don’t think my calculator display is wide enough for the result. Of course, when it came out of the tin, it needed squaring off and tidying up, and so all told, I’ve eaten a disgraceful amount this evening. Fortunately, Mr Red and the Redlets all agree it’s delicious, so they’ll probably save me from a fatal sugar-coma.

Anyway – it’s day 10 for me today. I can’t say I’ve been challenged yet, and I know the weekend and my returning good health will all conspire to trick me into thinking I’m in control of my drinking, perfectly normal Mum of 3, just a bottle or two to help me through. I shall be on my guard, and making plans to distractify. .

Red xx

 

Down with the ick

Yes folks, you guessed it! It’s bathtime again. I’m currently marinating in a hot bath in an attempt to wash away the illnesses which have been plaguing me.

Tonsillitis is still here; as of yesterday I’m on stronger antibiotics, and living in fear of quinsy (a truly Victorian-sounding illness, which would surely require the application of a poultice of some sort..). Unfortunately, on top of this, I’ve spent the morning riding the “chunder-bus”,  after contracting a vomiting virus from my poor little girl.

Needless to say, this has not been a good mix. It’s safe to say that Red’s immune system is definitely in Brazil, and has now met the man/woman of its dreams and decided to move there on a permanent basis, the treacherous bastard.

On the bright side – I now find myself inadvertently on day six of no drinking, and with a determination to continue. I have the perfect excuse; my friends, colleagues and drinking buddy (Mr Red) are all to aware of the litany of illnesses I’ve been suffering recently, so the words “oh I’m on an immune boosting health-kick” won’t come as a total shock.

Let’s see how it goes, eh?

Happy, vom-free weekend to you all.

Red xx

Bathtime – part deux

I’m in the bath again. I’m going to re-purpose this blog into one about baths and bathing, it seems to be such a recurring theme.

I’m ill again. On my third set of antibiotics this month – two for the pesky chest infection, and now I have that lovely childhood favourite; tonsillitis! It feels like someone’s stabbing me in the tonsil with a knitting needle every time I swallow, after having first run me over with a heavy-goods vehicle. You know it’s bad when the doctor winces visibly when they look down your throat. The word ‘pus’ was bandied about.

So – since my last blog I’ve been trying to “keep a lid” on my drinking, with varying degrees of success. I’ve not been drinking during the week, and reining myself in over the weekend. This still consisted of drinking three beers and two bottles of wine over the three nights. Frighteningly, that’s actually me behaving myself.

I’ve had a few really good, honest talks with Mr Red, all about the drinking; my drinking, his drinking, too much drinking. He wants to cut down too, so we made a plan for the weekend, and almost stuck to it. His idea was to only drink at weekends, but I pointed out the guilt this makes me feel; as by doing that I’m prioritising the weekdays where I work and see less of my little ones, over the weekends when I finally have some time for them. So I said I’d drink on one night, and be sober the other, so I had at least one day with them hangover free. I didn’t stick to this, I’m ashamed to admit, but I was more aware of drinking and stopped sooner. And had a good Sunday with them as a result.

I think I agreed to try this plan so I could prove to Mr Red that moderation is not an option for me – “hey look; I tried and failed spectacularly, so I’ve just got to give up now,  d’you see Honey?”. But when I re-read this again, it seems more and more like I’m weak, can’t take responsibility for my own decision, and am trying to manipulate the situation so that he’s finally telling me to stop. What’s with that thinking? Why do I need so badly for others to tell me what to do, to give me the permission I seem to need to make my life better?

I am also starting to suspect that my drinking is compromising my immune system. In fact I think my immune system has actually buggered off, due to the unreasonable working conditions I’ve been imposing on it, and is currently living the life of Riley on a beach in Brazil. Can any of you tell me whether you noticed an improvement in your resistance to bugs & viruses once you stopped drinking? I felt a real sense of despair when I realised I was getting ill again so soon – I’m struggling to remember when I was last really well.

Anyway – I’m discovering these baths of mine are an excellent time for reflection. Let’s all Bath Our Way to Sobriety!!!

Red xx

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday morning

Happy Sunday morning! I’m lying in bed, with Mr Red, and the three Redlets crammed into various spaces. We’re half- watching Up on dvd, and I’m getting a brief chance to catch up on soberblogs, whilst occasionally getting elbowed in the crotch. (Not by Mr Red, I hasten to add).

I feel good – it feels like my immune system might just have rediscovered it’s purpose. And I had a lovely walk and some coffees in pubs with Mr Red yesterday (he drank beer). I didn’t feel an urge to drink, but I do think that’s down to the lurgy. My real challenge will be facing not drinking when I feel tip-top again.

I also managed not to drink last night – I did contemplate it I confess, but ultimately the answer came back “no”. We’ve started re-watching the classic 90’s series “Cracker”. Gritty police drama with Robbie Coltrane. Awesome tv and all the better sober, because I saw the end and could actually follow the plot. (Side note – one bonus of all my previous drinking was that I passed out in a lot of films & TV series. So it’s like a whole new world out there).

Anyway – Happy May Day to you all. I’m feeling good about today; once I can extricate myself from this bed, I’m going to have a real coffee (without feeling the usual urge to puke) and we may even go outdoors, and dodge the lovely rain and hailstones the UK spring is hurling at us.