Bathtime – part deux

I’m in the bath again. I’m going to re-purpose this blog into one about baths and bathing, it seems to be such a recurring theme.

I’m ill again. On my third set of antibiotics this month – two for the pesky chest infection, and now I have that lovely childhood favourite; tonsillitis! It feels like someone’s stabbing me in the tonsil with a knitting needle every time I swallow, after having first run me over with a heavy-goods vehicle. You know it’s bad when the doctor winces visibly when they look down your throat. The word ‘pus’ was bandied about.

So – since my last blog I’ve been trying to “keep a lid” on my drinking, with varying degrees of success. I’ve not been drinking during the week, and reining myself in over the weekend. This still consisted of drinking three beers and two bottles of wine over the three nights. Frighteningly, that’s actually me behaving myself.

I’ve had a few really good, honest talks with Mr Red, all about the drinking; my drinking, his drinking, too much drinking. He wants to cut down too, so we made a plan for the weekend, and almost stuck to it. His idea was to only drink at weekends, but I pointed out the guilt this makes me feel; as by doing that I’m prioritising the weekdays where I work and see less of my little ones, over the weekends when I finally have some time for them. So I said I’d drink on one night, and be sober the other, so I had at least one day with them hangover free. I didn’t stick to this, I’m ashamed to admit, but I was more aware of drinking and stopped sooner. And had a good Sunday with them as a result.

I think I agreed to try this plan so I could prove to Mr Red that moderation is not an option for me – “hey look; I tried and failed spectacularly, so I’ve just got to give up now, Β d’you see Honey?”. But when I re-read this again, it seems more and more like I’m weak, can’t take responsibility for my own decision, and am trying to manipulate the situation so that he’s finally telling me to stop. What’s with that thinking? Why do I need so badly for others to tell me what to do, to give me the permission I seem to need to make my life better?

I am also starting to suspect that my drinking is compromising my immune system. In fact I think my immune system has actually buggered off, due to the unreasonable working conditions I’ve been imposing on it, and is currently living the life of Riley on a beach in Brazil. Can any of you tell me whether you noticed an improvement in your resistance to bugs & viruses once you stopped drinking? I felt a real sense of despair when I realised I was getting ill again so soon – I’m struggling to remember when I was last really well.

Anyway – I’m discovering these baths of mine are an excellent time for reflection. Let’s all Bath Our Way to Sobriety!!!

Red xx

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

39 thoughts on “Bathtime – part deux”

  1. Lovely to see a post from you Red and sorry to hear you are poorly. There is definitely a throaty thing going round at the moment. (I convinced myself I had throat cancer the other day, but I think it’s just a bug!) I’m not sure if resilience improves once stopping, but would definitely agree that drinking compromises the immune system. (Mine’s on a gap year!) Someone said to me at the weekend I’d had a run of bugs this year, (some have been hangovers admittedly) my guess is that poor sleep and stress don’t help and both go hand in hand with alcohol. Enjoy your bath, I hope you have some nice aromatherapy stuff in it rather than plastic ducks!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi SWMum! Thanks, yes I had some L’Occitaine Lavender bath, which was very soothing. Am sure you’re right about the immune system. I seem to get sick on a Monday after drinking at the weekend, makes me wonder if I’m bringing it on myself. I hope your “bug” buggers off soon too πŸ™‚ Red xx

      Like

  2. Hi Red…I have tried the same moderation techniques with zero success! Moderation, unfortunately, is not an option for me. Sounds the same for you too! About the permission thing…I think that drinking might be getting in the way of you making a decision by yourself and for yourself. Maybe a side effect of drinking? I bet, if you were to stop, you wouldn’t need anyone’s permission for anything! Maybe you don’t trust yourself because of the booze? Alcohol does bad things to our personality. Wanting permission is approval seeking. Maybe you just need your own approval!!! There are a lot of “maybe’s” in this reply! Hahaha. xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey there – thanks, yes I think maybe you’re right (lol!) – it’s only when I get time for a bit of introspection that I can see the bigger picture. All I need really is my own approval and some guts πŸ˜‰ Red xx

      Like

  3. Hi Red, sorry you are still unwell. I hope the antibiotics kick in soon and you feel better. I didn’t notice that I got sicker when I quit, but I have a pretty good immune system (touch wood!!) Moderation never worked for me. In the end it worked out much better to not drink at all. Good luck. You can do it. A x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lovely post and so true. I don’t think I have ever been so clean! I seem to spend my evenings submerged in bubbles reading books. I’ll be a very well read, wrinkly sober person so very soon x

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hope you feel better! I love baths! I’m only on Day 24 so can’t say my immune system is better but I haven’t been sick and I’ve been around those who have. I do feel that my sinuses are much less swollen and irritated though, for what that’s worth!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s good to hear, HabitDone. It can only be good to stop poisoning ourselves! Nice one on day 24, and here’s to less irritable sinuses. I have a feeling my eternally runny nose would dry up if I went dry too πŸ˜‰ Red xx

      Like

  6. What is it about and bathing and early doors sobriety?! I spent soooooo much time in the bath in those early weeks. Subconcious cleansing? Distraction tactics? Not pissed, so making the most of being able to read a book properly whilst soaking in the tub? Who knows. ANYWAY, v sorry to hear you’ve got tonsalitus. That’s rubbish. It’s a strange thing this drinking moderately business. Well, strange to me. After 7 months of total sobriety two years ago I started drinking moderately. Fast forward to a year later and I was totally, utterly exhausted by all the rules, the forever shifting ‘how much is enough’ goalposts that I was setting myself – just in order to feel in control of my drinking habits. Eventually in December last year I thought “That’s it. It’s easier if I just STOP and don’t drink at all”. I’ve got to tell you Red, the relief was HUGE. I’m not preaching here, moderation may work for you but it sure as hell took up waaaay too much of my time and as I’m a middle-aged bird it’s time I could well spend elsewhere. Anyway, here’s to bubbles of the bathing variety and….relax…Love to you! xx.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Ha – I too am a middle-aged bird and I’m pretty damn sure I could use my time more wisely πŸ˜‰ I hear what you’re saying about moderation; I don’t honestly think it’ll work for me either. I’m just trying it to shut up the doubting voices, both internal and external.. it’s already failing really! Thanks, Sobergarden – it’s really helpful to hear your take on it. Love back to you! Red xx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. 4 and a 1/2 months now and I’ve had one cold and currently got a bit of an infection in my left eye, neither of which I can blame on giving up the booze. No fucking hangovers though and not to put too fine a point on it the old digestive tract seems to be rather more reliable without the onslaught of alcohol – sorry about the level of detail. So wins all round really. Even started to lose some weight but I have decided to really drive myself into new lows and am 4 days into no bread and generally few carbs. So a lot of vegetables, nuts and chicken and spinning tomorrow – the maniacal bastard who took it last week tried to fucking well kill me and I nearly fell off the sodding bike after 50 minutes of torture but kill or cure I say. So to recap, no booze, no spuds, bread, pasta, chocolate (well not much). Yoghurt and fruit for breakfast, nuts, no bananas (too high GI). Fucking spinning with a sadist, oh but I do get to lounge in the bath afterwards which makes it all well worth it………… and a sore eye. but the bill for immodium is now zero.

    I do hope your tonsils get back on track soon.

    Cyber hugs to you and yours.

    Justonemore

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Good lord Justonemore – you do like to punish yourself! Tge spinning sounds brutal.Please keep us posted on the new regime and how it works out. Nice one on the weight -loss, and the lower immodium bill, that can only be a good thing. I tried lowering my carbs once, but soon found myself slavering and panting in the fresh bread aisle in Tesco. I had to pack it in after about 3 days.

      Cyber hugs back – Red xx

      Like

  8. Hi Red!
    I wish I could do bubble baths, but my bath tub is pretty shallow, and either my knees are covered, or my boobs. Not both at the same time!
    My immune system is not better, but I never had a good one in the first place!
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh Wendy – as a tall person, I feel your pain here; my bubble baths always consult of my knees poking up out of the bubbles!! It’s still worth it for me tho. Sorry to hear about your immune system. I don’t know what’s happened to mine!
      Red xx

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Hi Red. Well done, you are getting there! I am almost 7 months alcohol free. AF beer has been my salvation. For the first 2 months I was never well I had cold after cold chest infections and finally flu. I was exhausted, not sleeping and every day felt like a hangover. I even fainted in a big store. Looking back I can’t believe I got through it but suddenly it all came right. The aching joints eased and touch wood no more bugs. However bad it gets it won’t be worse than the long term effect on your body if you carry on drinking. That’s what I kept telling myself. I can honestly say the thought of a glass of wine carries no appeal now and at week one I could never have imagined feeling that way. Good luck in your journey I promise there is a life after alcohol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Lulu – thanks that’s really helpful to read! I’ve tried the AF beers but they just make me want a real one, so I’m better with mocktails I think. Interesting about your initial illness, I wonder if it was your body getting overworked during the healing process..I have this image of our poor bodies going into some kind of repair overdrive when we stop! It’s great to hear you’re feeling good and strong at 7 months, it’s spurring me on πŸ™‚ Red xx

      Like

      1. Great! I bought the I Quit Sugar book a while ago but I reckon I have more pressing issues to address right now πŸ˜‰ I’ll look forward to hearing all about the benefits on your blog. I’m convinced I’d have a lot more energy if I gave up the white stuff.. Red xx

        Liked by 1 person

  10. I LOVE baths as well, but being also a tall person (5’10), it’s either my knees or boobs under the water lol… of half the side if I told over. If you go on your stomach though for a bit, you can get most of yourself covered πŸ˜›

    Moderation is the devil I swear… been trying to “moderate” too, and it just isn’t getting me anywhere but drinking every single night… in a moderating way of course *wink*. Or so the excuse be told… Good luck with your tonsils! I have mine in as well, they are a pain!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha yes – you’re the same height as me. I’ve just been googling giant bathtubs for tall people.. wow. And moderating – I don’t honestly think it can ever really work for me. I just can’t stop after one glass. And sometimes after one bottle. Oof. Red xx

      Like

  11. Baths are the best. I am addicted to Lush bath bombs and bubble bars. (“Lush.” Hmmmmm. Coincidence?) on getting sick: yes, alcohol seriously effs with your immune system. Before I quit drinking the first time, when I was drinking like crazy, I got colds all the time. The flu. Everything that came around. Then I quit for 18 months and wasn’t sick once that whole time. Still haven’t been sick, despite my random bursts of alcohol abuse. Booze hits you and incapacitated your body from many different physiologic angles! Yikes. Anyways, so happy to read your blog, hope you’re doing well! Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ahh thanks for this Commotiocordis – I was really hoping to hear your perspective on the immune system stuff; I’ve a feeling you’re from a medical background? I’m convinced the alcohol and associated sleep deprivation are knocking mine for six. I’m going on a serious health kick after this bout of illness, going to take charge. So interesting that you weren’t ill for the 18 months you weren’t drinking. I’m thinking my anaemia may have an impact too. Anyhoo – enough me me me. How are you doing? You mention random bursts of alcohol abuse – are you doing ok/thinking of quitting again? Red xx Ps thanks for reminding me about Lush products – I love them! Must buy.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yep, I am a doc. And alcohol does cause a type of anemia! I’m doing a lot better. I had a nice stretch of sobriety there and threw it away and was doing a quite maddening sober 7 -10 days, drinking 2-4 days thing that I just can’t sustain any more. So I am back to no booze. May this be my time!

        Like

      2. Thought so, re: the doc thing πŸ™‚ Yes, I’ve been doing something similar. It’s such a bloody roller coaster though isn’t it? On and off, up and down. Actually easier to stop completely, in all probability. May this be your time indeed! Might even be mine. Right now I’d do pretty much anything to avoid a recurrence of this tonsil-horror! Keep me posted on you progress, please. Will be willing you onwards. Red xx

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Hey Red. Yep, I did the moderation thing with my husband, hoping that he would ORDER ME to QUIT IMMEDIATELY!. He didn’t, and it wasn’t fair. His drinking is his drinking, my drinking was my drinking. I haven’t had a cold/flu/snivel since I quit, but I’m not around children at all, and I know from my friends with small people, that they are little bundles of germs (in the sweetest possible way). Welcome back Red xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehe! Little bundles of germs is perfectly accurate! Thanks Jackie. I know I’ve got to take responsibility for myself, it’s just going against a lifetime of habit πŸ˜‰ I can do it, I just need to want it enough I think. Hope things improving for you! Red xx

      Like

  13. Keep bathing!
    You have a good awareness of yourself. At some point I just de iced the effort of drinking was too much. And somehow sobriety seems like the easier choice.
    I hope you find that too.
    Hugs

    Like

    1. Anne – I’m humbled that you have time and energy to comment here given your current situation – thankyou so much! Your a truly lovely person. I hope things start to improve for you and your family very soon. Red xx

      Like

      1. You also need to remember to give yourself a break, Anne! But I guess life is moving on, and may it bring you some good stuff very, very soon! Love and hugs to you. Red xx

        Like

      2. I know. I slip into doing it all on my own.
        Yesterday I decided to take all offers of assistance. I don’t need to buy all new temporary stuff when people have things to share.
        Perhaps that is where I build new connections….

        Like

  14. Sounds like a good plan – definitely take help where it’s offered. Building connections can only be good too. Please keep us all posted via your blog – if you have the time & will – we’re all rooting for you here in the sobersphere world. Xx

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s