Waking from the dream

Oh dear. It seems that one of the consequences of drinking to escape from all my responsibilities and my endless to-do list is that none of the things I was hiding from actually got done. No Shit, Sherlock, I hear you cry.

Consequently, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed. I’ve emerged from my figurative underground hobbit hole to discover that someone (I suspect Sauron) has dumped a pile of paperwork the size of Mount Doom outside my front door. The temptation to shut said door, and head for the cellar to eat cold meats and cheese is huge.

I admit, I’m feeling slightly panicky and overwhelmed. That could be the coffee, but more likely the fact I’ve a tonΒ of shit to sort. If I think about it right now, it kind of goes “right, here goes, so I’ve got “A” to do, then “B” then, oh shit, forgot about “C” until it’s “woah, woah, too much, I’ve forgotten my fecking alphabet, this is too big, help, brain shutting down in blind paniiiiccckkk”.

Obviously the temptation to blot all this out by twisting a screw-top and glug glug-glugging is huge. I’ve had a few overwhelming cravings over the last two days, but I’ve mostly rationalised my way through them. I even busted one by suddenly doing star jumps in the kitchen, much to the surprise and delight of my 5 year old son.

I think I need to try to find some balance here. I’m basically assuming that because I’ve stopped drinking, a years worth of shizzle will be magically resolved, my house will become clean and I will wake-up a skinny, energetic, super-mummy. Β This Is Not The Case. What I need to do is get my scruffs on, find a bloody big spade, and start digging. Or make a list – yes, that’ll do!

Right. Here goes.

1. Tax return

2. Aaaarrrggghhh!!!!!

Red xx

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20 thoughts on “Waking from the dream”

    1. Oh my god I love Black Books, and yes, this will be me. I daren’t watch the boxset until I’m feeling very strong. I identify with those three far too much, particularly the “having a bad day? Let’s fuck off and drink red wine until we’re incoherent” attitude.. Red xx

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  1. You’re doing great! And what an appreciative audience you have! When I get overwhelmed by paperwork I give myself a time limit- say I’m going to spend an hour on it. It’s surprising how much can get knocked out in that time- the little stuff- but the pile goes down.

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    1. Thanks Freefalling! Yes, more manageable chunks are what’s needed! And an initial assessment and list writing period!! I have done something productive today; applied for a primary school place for my twins. Fairly important stuff hey? πŸ˜‰ Red xx

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  2. This made me laugh…yes it might be the coffee.
    Hubs can always tell when I am over caffeinated!!
    He puts notes all over the house telling me “No Coffee After 2 pm”.
    Ha.
    I can’t do star jumps…jumping jacks?…anymore. I am way too old.
    Maybe I can call them earth jumps as my feet never leave the floor!
    xo
    Wendy

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  3. It’s easier said than done but try to go easy on yourself. I’ve given myself permission to do sweet FA for 14 days (and I might extend it, despite the C word looming) I’ve gotten tripped up too many times in the past by trying to do too much too soon and becoming overwhelmed, stressed and resentful. This time I’m giving it my everything. Have a read of Laura McKowan’s blog if you haven’t already – she calls it HD pregnancy principle (aka being selfish for a greater good.) Hang in there! x

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    1. Haha – thanks I shall check that out. I like the idea of being kind to yourself and the 14 day thing. I’ll go for somewhere in the middle I think – start the list, prepare a bit, but also hibernate too! Red xx

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  4. Its an elephant, eat it in chunks. Or, go and have a second breakfast – Hobbit stylie. Drunk or sober, pile of shit will still be there. One thing I have found in the last months and weeks is that sober doesn’t mean that things get any easier. Life still knocks you down and you get up and it knocks you down again and you get up and……. and…….. and……… Rejoice in the fact, that a). You are sober, b). You can still do star jumps. c). You can see straight enough to recognise the pile of crap.

    Wednesday tomorrow – halfway through the week!!!

    Justonemore

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  5. Hi Red, I know how you feel! I have a long list of things I need to do and because it’s so overwhelming I just keep putting it off! People say just do one thing at a time. That’s what I need to do. You are doing great! A x

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    1. Thanks Angie! Yes, I reckon the biggest hurdle is just starting.. I think a lot of it is making mountains of molehills in my case! I’m going to try and sort one big thing per week, and also a new tack of dealing with post the day it arrives. That way I’ll eventually meet in the middle πŸ˜‰ Red xx

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  6. Hi Red, I’ve always liked that little saying to “just do the next right thing”. It’s gotten me through a lot of my periods of feeling overwhelmed. Keep going…I hope this helps πŸ™‚
    Jenn

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