Big kid

Day 37. Despite dealing with more vomiting Redlets, I’m feeling chipper. Stronger antibiotics are (fingers and toes crossed) warding off the chest-infection which has been dogging my steps for the last three weeks. I’m reasonably prepared for the big event, my fridge is bursting with cheese and cold meats, which makes me very happy. I have some special drinks which actually haveΒ glitterΒ in them. (Yes folks, I’m going to be literally shitting glitter in a few days. Seriously, can you get any more festive than that??)

Occasionally, I feel a pang, miss the fine wine, feel like something is wrong. But I can stand outside myself and ask the question “would pouring ethanol down my throat and getting inebriated improve this??”. No Red, it fucking wouldn’t, and you know where that ends. Real life is not like the adverts.

When I look at the children, I feel a simmering, child-like excitement myself. I’m here, in it, experiencing it, not the absent, shattered mess of old.

Yes, admittedly I’m eating mince pies and mainlining coffee for breakfast, but I’ve got all of next year to start looking at my food habits. I know this will balance itself out, so I’m letting myself indulge, safe in the knowledge that I’m winning st the moment just by not drinking.

SoberMummy’s post this morning containing the link to all those transformed, fresh, happy sober people gave me a huge lift. Maybe one day I’ll post my before and after photo’s. For now, I’m an anonymous, but happy,

Red xx

 

 

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24 thoughts on “Big kid”

  1. I love the way you describe being present with your kids — that simmering, child-like excitement. I’m trying to do the same instead of letting the meaningless details and mind-wandering take over. It works! It’s so nice to look around in wonder and awe instead of hungover exhaustion and then REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED the next day!
    So happy for you. ; )
    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You are doing really well Red and you seem to be experiencing the same thing I did, the feeling that something is a bit different this time. It’s terrifying because of the risk of the bad juju if you say it out loud and then mess it up. Keep saying it feels different though because by recognising it you are creating new pathways in your brain.
    I tentatively bought a bottle of M&S Mulled Fruit Punch on your recommendation, thinking it was bound to be disappointing like a lot if other substitutes but no…. It’s absolutely delicious and amazing and I am kicking myself I didn’t buy 5 bottles. Back to M&S tomorrow to buy more if they have it.

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  3. And Happy Hols to you too Ginger! Have you had a good one? We’ve been awash with puke sadly (bloody viruses) but it was a lot easier to deal with sober. And we’ve had fun in spite of it. Very happy to be free of the booze. Big hugs and wishes for a wonderful 2017 to you xx

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    1. Oh poor you, I managed to get my daughter to 18 with only TWO throwing up events one due to a migraine. You have had more than your fair share already.
      Yes was a good Christmas especially thanks to your Mulled Fruit Punch recommendation. Looking forward to a great year ahead πŸ˜€

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  4. Hello you two. Here, sober, watching crap on the TV and looking forward to whatever 2017 brings. Off to the beach with the Dogs tomorrow. Hope you are all (Redlets, Ginger’s daughter etc) OK. Actually, the TV IS road Dahl and very good!!

    Justonemore

    Liked by 1 person

    1. this year is the first time we haven’t made it to the beach on Christmas Day with the dogs because of my bloody cough -YES, AGAIN!!!πŸ˜·πŸ€’
      we are going to make a plan to meet this year, us three and maybe others. You guys have helped me so much this year through all my ups and downs and I can’t thank you enough.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Gawd – thank Justonemore, she’s the constant.. I’ve been no bloody help, flake that I am. Well, was. (Day 45 still going strong). We must meet. Although Justonemore has just posted eloquently about the importance of anonymity on SM’s blog. So we’ll all need those disguises with the fake nose/glasses/moustache. That should do it. Red xx

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