I’m feeling more self-aware this time, I hope that’s good thing. So much of my drinking is in response to a feeling of overwhelm in my life – and without it, I can feel like there’s no escape. I managed to get through it yesterday by just thinking “Stop. What the fuck actually needs to be done today?” And then concentrating on that. I’m getting slightly better at viewing feelings like this from the outside, which helps to dispel them. As does remembering the sage advice of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy..
A small list of achievements in the last few days:
1) Had a lovely wedding anniversary, I can remember the very expensive meal I ate, and I didn’t puke anywhere. Bonus!
2) Nearly got cigarettes. I don’t even smoke (well, only when drunk). Decided to wait it out, and lo & behold, the craving buggered off.
3) Saturday morning football – up and ready by 8.30am to take the kids to a new footy club. This would not have happened full stop if I’d boozed. I’m particularly pleased as they have a girls team – my daughter is at the point where she needs to either go down the dance or the sport route. I’m trying to encourage sport. Because, well, have you SEEN Little Miss Sunshine?
4) School Mum’s night out done. At a local craft beer bar, where there was a DJ night. It was hard, and I had to explain why I wasn’t drinking many, many times, but hey, I nearly danced, and it was 70’s soul and disco, so that’s a minor miracle for me (one of my least favourite genres of music, only surpassed by the horror that is jazz). I noticed that I’m massively irritated by drunk people. But then, I was probably one of the worst culprits, before.
5) BBQ at our house with our booziest friends. And seven feral children, running round screaming with lightsabers, glowsticks, and a foam-covered slip-n-slide. Friends all brought lots of booze, but also kindly brought me non-alcoholic beer and cake treats. And right now, I’m up and I feel fucking great, where Mr Red is still in bed snoring.
So where’s the Red who used to party backstage at festivals, and bugger off to NYC to see her boyfriends band playing CBGB? And nearly get barred from flights home for being falling-down drunk? Well folks, she’s having a day at home, ironing name labels into a mountain of school uniform, and mainlining nespresso coffee. And she’ll bloody enjoy it!